In many parts of the USA, people often speak only in the past tense
about us Jewish people, too — “The Jews had a holiday called Chanukah” or whatever (often uttered with the same vocal intonations that one uses in telling the deeds of mythical/fairy-tale characters or other symbolic/fictional people). In my first year of college, two of my roommates spoke about Jewish observances/celebrations ONLY in the past tense (even when discussing things that they witnessed while speaking of those things), and they considered me “pedantic” and “cruel” and
“unnatural” for even asking why anyone would speak of living people in a manner that English-speakers usually employ for speaking of long-dead people[s] or fairy-tale figures. They could never explain (or never cared to explain) why they did this, let alone explain why they considered it wrong of me to wonder why they did this.

Yours for better letters, Kate Gladstone